Are your September goals actually yours?
It is the 1st of September, and I quite simply don't know how we got here. But a mini breakdown about how fast time goes by aside... September means goal setting.
I've always much preferred September over January for goal setting and change. Partly because it's easy to stick with that same school term time rhythm, and partly because September is simply a much more optimistic time for goal setting than rainy, miserable January. But that same optimism of the new Autumn season also risks encouraging you to be overly optimistic with your goals.
I am very big on aiming high, but it's easy to aim high for something you don't actually care about. Which is incidentally the topic of one of my favourite quotes:
Especially as a business owner, it's easy to write goals like:
But who are those goals for?
On a personal level, mainly because I'm self-employed, I'm super interested in what motivates us. And the unfortunate truth is that doing things just so other people can see us doing them is not motivation enough.
If your only reason for wanting to run a marathon, start a business, or take up yoga is to say you've done these things, it's highly unlikely you'll actually do them.
So what do your goals actually need to be based on?
For this, I love the Self-Determination Theory (SDT)
If you've ever worked with me you'll likely know that I love this theory. Top-line, the framework is based on the idea that extrinsic rewards (like money, praise, or likes on the Instagram post you could publish about it) can reduce intrinsic motivation. To be successful, you need to meet three types of needs: competence, relatedness, and autonomy.
How can you set your September goals?
Make sure any goal you set motivates you. And that motivation needs to come from a combination of all three core areas.
Autonomy:
Is it wanted?
This is all about being in control of your 'why' behind it. Make sure your goals align with your values and are something you believe in, so it's your own decision and drive to carry something out.
If you've never had any interest in being fit or running, a marathon is a very tough place to start. But if you're running a marathon for a charity that really means something to you, that's pretty good motivation to work towards the distance.
If you're starting a business just because you saw a day in the life video on TikTok of a founder who has time to get their nails done at 11 am, you're not really invested in the business part. But if you've discovered a problem that you're really passionate about solving, you're in full control of said solution.
Competence:
Is it winnable?
Rule 101 in goal setting is that it has to be achievable. It could still be a big challenge, but then, in that case, set yourself a longer time frame so it is doable. Especially in September, it's easy for us to set timelines of by the end of the year, but for a really big goal, 3 months is likely not manageable. Rome wasn't built in a day!
I find the best way to do this is to break your goals down into smaller parts. You want to start a business? Dedicate the next 3 months to ordering and finalising prototypes of your product, or honing your skill set and capturing initial case studies for your service. Rather than saying you're going to define your business strategy, finalise the product/service, and create and launch all marketing and your website in 3 months. The latter is simply not achievable, and by avoiding your need to be competent, you'll be setting yourself up for failure.
Relatedness:
Is it witnessed?
Humans have a universal need to feel a sense of belonging. We want to feel seen, valued, and connected to something larger than ourselves. So who else can you bring in to help you achieve that goal?
If your goal is to run a marathon, this could look like joining a local run club or pairing up with other friends who want to train with you.
If you're starting a business, can you work with others who have complementary skill sets? Attend local networking events or work in a co-working space to surround yourself with like-minded people. Even post on social media to tell people what you're doing and let them follow along virtually. Allow yourself to feel seen and connected.
Importantly, this is not about simply announcing your goal. It's well documented that simply telling people our goals gives us a nice dose of dopamine and instantly makes us feel closer to achieving them, even though we haven't yet taken a step toward them. Announcing a goal is extrinsic, but your need to feel witnessed is something different. You need people along for your journey to keep that motivation up and keep driving yourself toward the goal. One Instagram post alone cannot meet this need.
How to put this into practice?
So often clients come to me with goals, or friends speak to me about plans that only hit a maximum of one of those needs, and that's sadly an instant sign that this goal is not there to be met. Statements like: “Hit £50k this half year” (your competence may well be there, but what's the motivation? What's the measurable plan to get you there?).
Or “build a community” (likely because they've seen on social media that this is something they should do. A lovely idea that you actually should do, but what's your reason for that? Are you capable of that? How are you bringing your audience along with you?).
September is an especially susceptible time for meaningless goals and that is definitely something we all want to avoid. So what's the SDT test to see if your goals will be a success?
Is it wanted, winnable, and witnessed?
Your goal has to answer all three of the needs in order to be well-formed.
I think the best way to meet these is to make sure your goals focus on what you can control. Let's work through some examples...
A goal of “to get to 1,000 Substack subscribers by the end of the year” is not that.
You don't just want the number of subscribers. You want your work to be read, taken seriously, appreciated.
You also don't control it, and you cannot prove it's winnable.
Instead, your goal could be to “publish one article a week until the end of the year, that I share on other platforms and reply personally to every comment”.
This is wanted because what you actually want is to become a better thinker in public and to be able to display your point of view.
It's winnable, because you already know roughly how long one article takes, and so you can carve out this time each week.
And it's witnessed because you'll keep sharing your work on other channels and engage in conversations around your pieces.
A vague goal to “make £30k in Q4” is unlikely to be achieved if that monetary target is a stretch.
Money is the classic example of an extrinsic reward. The revenue itself isn't unimportant, but it tells you nothing about what to do; it significantly depends on things you can't control, and nobody is in it with you.
Instead, your goal could be to “reach out directly to ten ideal referral contacts to clearly outline my target audience and service offering, with the objective of securing three new clients for the updated service tier.”
This is wanted because you're choosing the direction of your business, not just its size. Winnable because there's a number you can plan backwards from to work out how many conversations you need to have and proposals you need to send, starting when. And witnessed because it's shared directly with my network to get those referrals.
I've long said it's my goal to “get better at cooking”, but that's a useless example of my own! Of course it's wanted, but I haven't defined a version of “better” that I can tick off, and I've done nothing to share my process for how I want to get there.
Instead, my goal could be to “cook one new recipe a week, and host a monthly dinner to showcase my favourites”.
This is wanted because I'd love to be the person who can cook a meal from what ingredients I have, without having to consult a recipe. It's winnable because I've clearly stated I will do a new recipe each week, and it's witnessed because I am committing to sharing my skills with my chosen group once a month.
Which brings me back to the mountain
“Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world”.
This isn't telling you to be humble or to stop caring what anyone thinks, but it is telling you that the goals set to be seen and the goals set to change what you can see are two different categories.
Goals set for other people to see are almost always the ones that everyone else has already set. Followers, revenue, launches, jazzy metrics all lack the real substance that's going to motivate you. Which results in a business that ends up looking and sounding like everyone else's, because it was assembled from the same empty vision board.
And that's how you end up boring. Through years of quarters spent chasing things you were never that interested in, arriving somewhere generic, and wondering why nobody can tell you apart.
Boring is the most expensive problem in business, and it usually starts with a goal nobody actually wanted. So before you write anything down for your September goals, reflect on what you'd want if nobody was watching. What's the view you'd actually want, and how are you motivating yourself for the climb?
