How to understand your target customer

Most people approach defining their target customer like a checklist. Name; age; job title; goals; challenges; interests. Maybe a few demographics thrown in for good measure.

But ticking off surface-level details isn’t what's going to help you understand your customer. And it's definitely not going to help you connect with them. You can't just define who they are, slap on a generic 'persona name' and call it done. To truly understand who your customer is, and then connect with that customer, you need to dive deep into who: they are; what they feel; their frustrations; what makes them tick. Only then can you understand how to position your services or product to be that solution they need.

Over this summer I've gotten myself into a deep hole with Self Determination Theory (SDT) and I'm now learning to apply it to my work in every way possible. To truly understand your customer and connect with them, you've got to dive deep into who they are, and this theory is one of the simplest and best ways I've found to do that.

Self-Determination Theory (SDT) is a psychological framework that identifies three essential human needs that drive motivation:

• Autonomy: Feeling as thought you have choice and are in control.

• Competence: Feeling capable, effective, and growing.

• Relatedness: Feeling connected, understood, and valued by others.

Whether you’re selling a course, a service, or a coaching package, your customer will be subconsciously assessing whether those needs will be met. So how do you truly understand your target customer and meet those needs?

I'm glad you asked...

Step 1: Clarify who your customer really is

This is about their lived experience. Think about:

• What their daily life looks like.

• What matters to them.

• What frustrates them.

• What keeps them stuck.

• What they’re trying to shift or improve.

Here’s a prompt I recommend starting with:

“My ideal customer is __________, who often feels __________, and dreams of __________.”

Example:“My ideal customer is a busy entrepreneur juggling family and career, who often feels stretched thin and guilty about their lack of family time, and dreams of balance and meaningful connection at home.”

Notice how this gets far beyond “target market = women aged 30–45”. It paints a full, emotional picture, and that’s what you’re aiming for.

Step 2: Understand their emotional and practical needs

Once you’ve clarified who they are, zoom in on what they need, both emotionally and practically.

• Emotional needs: Support; encouragement; relief from stress; a sense of being understood.

• Practical needs: Save time; learn a skill; fix a problem; reach a milestone; avoid mistakes.

Think about what problems your audience has and how your offer is positioned as a solution.

To have that high conversion rate you dream of, you can't just sell your service or product. You have to sell the solution it provides, the transformation your customer will get. You're not offering career coaching, you're offering the chance to move from confused career goals to a clear career progression plan.

Step 3: Identify their commitment triggers

Your customer won’t say yes just because your offer looks good, as likelihood is theres 100's of others selling a similar service or product. They'll say yes when something clicks within them to show that you are exactly what they need. This usually happens when you properly answer these sorts of questions:

• What do I need to feel safe committing to this?

• What reassurance do I need first?

• Why might I hesitate, and what could remove that hesitation?

• What does my decision-making journey look like?

These are what I call commitment triggers. They’re often emotional. And if you understand them, you can reflect them back in your copy, website flow, testimonials, and service structure.

For example, a customer might:

• Need to see that this won’t take up too much time (→ add clarity on time commitments or energy required).

• Want proof it’s worked for someone like them (→ include relatable case studies or segmented testimonials).

• Feel unsure if now is the right time (→ speak to “why now” gently but persuasively).

Step 4: Apply Self-Determination Theory to deepen connection

So far you’ve defined who your customer is, what they need, and what might stop them. And this is often the point where businesses will stop - after defining what the user needs are without properly thinking into how they can meet, or even exceed, them.

But not us! Now I want you to make sure your business fulfils the three core SDT needs, as this is what will really set you apart.

Here's how to break that down:

Autonomy

“I want to feel like I have choice and control.”

• Are you giving your customer options? E.g. Tiered packages, self-led vs done-with-you, payment flexibility.

• Are you being clear about how your process works?

• Can users navigate your website intuitively and choose their own path? E.g. "Not sure which option is right for you?" links, quizzes, or filter systems.

This also applies to your actual service or product. For example, a personal trainer can offer an intake form that lets users choose preferred training styles, workout times, and whether they want in-person or virtual sessions.

Competence

“I want to feel capable, supported, and able to succeed.”

• Are you showing how your offer helps your customer grow, learn, or succeed?

• Do you provide clear guidance or a roadmap that helps them feel capable from day one?

• Are you avoiding overwhelming them with jargon, vague steps, or open-ended promises?

Again, that same personal trainer can outline a progressive training plan with clear milestones, so users know what to expect, and can feel motivated as they go.

Relatedness

“I want to feel connected, understood, and not alone.”

• Are you showcasing client stories or testimonials that reflect a range of experiences?

• Are you using emotionally intelligent language that feels human?

• Is there an opportunity for personal connection, like calls, voice notes, or community touchpoints?

For example, the personal trainer can showcase short video testimonials or case studies from clients with different body types, goals, and backgrounds. Helping visitors to see themselves reflected in at least one of the success stories.

Want help understanding your target customer?

If you’re ready to design your strategy, services, or website around what your customers need, I'd love to work together.

Book Business Blueprint for a 1-week strategy sprint to uncover your customer’s motivations, identify misalignments, and create a roadmap that leads to real connection.

Or book in for a website design to have a whole new website designed around your customer, with their needs at the centre of each decision.