Filling my creative cup back up

I’m a full time freelance creative. And lately, I haven’t felt very creative.

That’s a weird thing to admit, especially when creativity is my job. But somewhere along the way, I stopped creating for the joy of it.

I’m not entirely sure if the ‘done thing’ is to write an introductory Substack post. But this seemed a little bit less scary to write than anything proper. So here goes.

Technically, I’m a freelance web designer. But in true freelance style I dabble in other services like branding, magazine print design (honestly not sure where that one came from), SEO, blog writing, presentation design. Kind of anything creative my favourite clients ask of me. Every day I get to create something new. Help amazing people bring their visions to life. Solve visual problems.

That latter point is what many of us forget is a big part of creative work. I focus on design that ultimately solves problems. Which ties into a strategy that I, or my client, or another creative, has defined. I’m a big believer that all design has a purpose. All design is functional.

Thanks for reading Freelance Files! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

My dream of becoming a full-time freelance creative was largely centred around the idea of having creative freedom. And for a while, I held onto the belief that functional design gives that. But when the performance of that creativity is (rightly) measured by my clients, and is what pays the bills, there’s lots of clear boundaries in place. You always have to listen to client visions and shape your designs to fit their business and customer needs. There’s always a brief, always a goal. I explain every ‘creative’ decision I make in a walkthrough video or annotated pack, to prove how it will serve that purpose, how it will deliver the ideal results, how it ties into the North Star strategy.

Some of that is actually my favourite part of my work, so that’s by no means a complaint. Yet it’s the very problem solving aspect I love that’s made me accidentally put my creativity into a carefully designed box. That of course has a functional lock on it.

Problem solving design has made me lose the unguarded, messy creativity that’s where all good ideas build from. My ability to look at a blank page and dream up exciting ways to bring a vision to life, rather than starting with a bullet point list of user needs.

Turning creativity into a career is a dream that so many hold. Yet no one really talks about how once you manage that, you limit the very creativeness you sought. Where things don’t have to look good because nobody is paying for it. When first ideas can be a bit ridiculed. Drawings can be a bit rubbish. Words can tumble out onto a page without having a carefully crafted structure accompanied by the perfect CTA. Where ideas can be truly limitless rather than constrained by scope.

Because every client wants out of the box thinking until they acknowledge the time, effort, and budget associated with that.

A year into my full time freelance journey, I’ve realised I’ve been emptying my creative cup entirely on work projects. Never giving myself the chance to refill it. This wasn’t an overnight thing, or something I expected to happen. But it’s natural to prioritise the projects that pay. And the projects that pay are the projects that need to be a form of perfect.

Second to that, is the projects that have a purpose. Which are just as bad.

Recently, I sat down to write a more SEO focused blog post for my website and found myself staring at a blank page. I tried to read back some of my recent web design blog posts for inspiration and they bored me. I don’t know if it’s the constant writing for a purpose, or the gradual decrease in my creativity, but my writing is bad.

I don’t need it to be better for my job. I primarily leave any client website writing to an actual copywriter. But I want to be better for myself. And more than anything, I want to have the chance to create without a purpose.

I can’t remember the last time I did something creative purely for the joy of it. When I allowed myself to produce something ‘bad’ and move on. Without the internal pressure to immediately continue working on it until 3am when I can finally feel as though it’s in an improved state.

Creativity isn’t limitless. If you only take from it without refilling, it dries out. And it’s truly exhausting trying to squeeze creativity from an empty cup.

This is all a very long way for me to say that’s why I’m here.

I want a space to write just for writing’s sake. Not because it needs to rank on Google or convert into a website checkout or impress anyone.

So, if you’ve felt a similar creative emptiness, consider this your invitation.

Let’s refill our creative cup.

Let’s remember what it feels like to create without expectations

Let’s draw things that don’t need to be beautiful. Write things that don’t have to convert. Design without a brief.

Let’s rediscover the simple joy of creating.

Signing off with a non-perfect illustration to get me that bit further out my comfort zone

Thanks for reading Freelance Files! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.