Let's bring back showing off

We’ve lost the ability to show off.

Somewhere over the last 10 years, or maybe even longer, “showing off” has become cringey, embarrassing, and something we should avoid at all costs.

Being described as a “show off” is certainly not desirable. Meaning we’ve all become so concerned that openly demonstrating pride in ourselves might make us seem self-absorbed, vain, or even narcissistic, that we instead no longer properly celebrate our genuine achievements in public.

To clarify: I am absolutely not suggesting more people should display narcissistic tendencies. Nor am I insinuating anyone should become self-absorbed. Especially if you are a fellow business owner, I frequently discuss how to be successful, you have to ensure your customer is the main character, primarily talking about them and not yourself.

But have we confused the extreme of narcissism with the act of feeling and showing pride in our own achievements?

“A narcissist is a person with an excessive, unhealthy interest in themselves, often displaying extreme self-centeredness, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and a deep need for admiration” – Vocabulary.com

“Showing off” is a term often related to content creators (specifically those who haven’t “made it” yet, which is interesting), people who post on LinkedIn, or someone who is celebrating something people are either envious of, or have no desire to achieve it themselves.

Like this? I’d love it if you subscribed!

This is the Google AI summary definition of showing off:

“”Showing off” means to act in a way that intentionally attracts attention, admiration, or envy, often by bragging, boasting, or displaying skills, achievements, or possessions. While sometimes used for proud display, it is generally considered annoying or arrogant, aimed at making others notice the person’s abilities or, sometimes, to highlight a specific item.”

I find “it is generally considered annoying or arrogant” especially interesting. Why is it annoying to display skills and achievements?

Some of the best things in our world, in my opinion, are by nature “showing off”. Think of the Olympics. Surely the biggest show-off competition in the world, and completely incredible? Fashion shows. Launch events. Art galleries. Talks by inspirational speakers. Many modern-day weddings. All beautiful, amazing events, that I personally would love to be invited along to.

Show off your art more! Who wouldn’t want to see this!

Not to mention that more of these events created to support income, are suffering from our aversion to celebrating what could be described as others “showing off”.

If the artist of the above paintings didn’t hang them up on display and show them off, no one would be able to buy them.

Cinema trip visits are down, where skills can be celebrated on a big screen rather just from our sofas whilst we only give part of our attention, allowing it to compete with our phones and a takeaway and a quick chat.

Midnight book launches and big book signings are now sparse, with book promotions taking place through quick online posts that people scroll past or absent-mindedly like without fully digesting the content.

We used to attend big exhibitions to hear the latest developments in science, with experiments being performed on stages. Now, we are lucky to see an article on a news site that’s sandwiched between politics updates, business updates, and a million other discoveries people are likely “showing off” about, that we probably should care about but don’t have the time for.

With all these examples, the ability to show off is only possible through other people showing up to celebrate your achievements. And we are showing up less and less.

Some of this is definitely cultural. In the UK, we seem to have a stronger aversion to overt boasting than other countries like America or Dubai.

But what is the impact of us adopting the “humble brag” mentality over risking being labelled as a show off?

Me showing off my marathon medal which I trained for 16 weeks to get!

Showing off enables others to get involved.

There’s an online obsession with doing things “quietly” at the moment. “Quietly building”, “quietly working away”. But there’s a reason why check-ins with your boss or mid-point project review points exist.

Having other people’s opinions is helpful.

Sharing what you’re doing and opening yourself up to feedback is how you get better outcomes.

As far as I’m aware, no scientific discovery has been made completely and wholly by one scientist. They’ve built off the foundations of others’ work or welcomed fresh opinions. Learned from each other. Or at the very least, inspired others by putting their work out there.

If you’re building a business, it’s likely that someone else has been where you are. It’s even more likely that if you share your wins along the way, you’ll motivate others and bring people along on your journey.

Staying “quiet” instead prevents you from being given advice by someone who’s been in your shoes. And, it stops you from being able to look back and celebrate where you’ve come from.

My Grandad went to a local art exhibition and saw some lovely watercolour paintings, which inspired him to start learning to watercolour himself. And he’s now making cards for family and friends. What perfect inspiration!

My brother worked to get better at cooking over the last few years and would cook his best recipes for us. One of which was a very good Caesar salad, which then inspired me to make it myself too. Share to inspire!

Showing off actually sets you apart.

I find it ironic that the rise in wanting a personal brand comes at the same time there’s an increasing aversion to “showing off”. When really the nature of a personal brand is to “show off” your skills and knowledge.

It’s become commonplace to share insights or reflections on your industry. But anyone can share an opinion on what others have done. What is it that you are actually doing, or can do?

You may write about business, but have you had experience supporting a business itself? Have you managed to grow a clients Instagram followers by 120%? Created eye-catching branding for over 20 brands? Taught 100+ people new skills on SEO? Hosted a talk about an area of history you’re passionate about?

If you don’t show off about that, people will never know, and you will never stand out.

Like this? I’d love it if you subscribed!

Why wouldn’t you want to celebrate it?

Besides the benefits of showing off, simply why wouldn’t you?

If you’ve trained for a marathon for 4+ months and conquered the distance, show me your medal!

Made a really cool painting? Frame it, and I will come and see!

Written an entire book? Promote it so I can buy and read it!

Got your biggest client? Shout it from the rooftops so we can cheer!

We, of course, don’t do things just for the purpose of showing off. But if you’ve really dedicated time to something, polished a skill, or learnt something new, you should be able to celebrate that achievement without it being embarrassing.

Hearing people be proud of themselves genuinely makes me happy. It inspires me. It helps to show how different everyone is, and I love the idea of celebrating others ’ achievements. And it genuinely concerns me that, as a society, we are not adopting this view.

Knowing your friends are proud of you is one of the nicest feelings. We should feel energised by, and celebrated for, doing a really good job at something we’ve worked hard for.

When thinking about this article, I tried to research some examples of the importance of showing off your achievements. And instead, googling “bring back showing off” landed me these results:

• “How to stop showing off: 6 no-nonsense tips!”

  • Which links through to a therapy site 3 times throughout the article. Suggesting to “Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you overcome your need to show off to others.” (Fully self-absorbed? Yes, that is likely a separate issue. You’ve done something incredible and want to shout about it more than their recommended two times? I don’t think that needs a therapy appointment.)

• “How to deal with a show-off”

  • Which advises to “Praise them, but choose your words carefully. ‘Saying, “You’re so good at this” reinforces the idea that they’re special and stand out,’” (can we not tell people they are good at something?)

• And finally this piece:

  • Which states how “From garish displays of physical prowess to oversized means of transportation to ostentatious domiciles, there’s nothing so arbitrary and wasteful than showing off.” This was also actually written in 2011, so this clearly isn’t a new sentiment.

So, with the lack of internet support, here is my list of healthy ways to “show off”

Reiterate your key achievements or contributions at appropriate times.

Your clients and colleagues won’t remember everything you say. If you’ve worked hard to accomplish something that could help you secure that promotion or attract your ideal clients, it’s important to mention it multiple times. This should be done in your content, during sales calls, in quarterly reviews, and again at your end-of-year review.

Share your processes while being open to others’ feedback.

Put your achievements out there to invite input on how you can improve even further next time. Not only will this help you to continually enhance your skills, but you’ll also have a record of your progress to reflect upon.

My friend was launching a new sports tours business, so asked us to come along to both help and give feedback on how she could keep growing it. You only grow by continually improving!

Empower others through your achievements.

Share behind-the-scenes details of how you succeeded, offer advice on how you reached your goals, and use reaching a key milestone as an opportunity to help others do the same. Whether by taking people along on your journey or reflecting on your path afterwards.

I love Grace Andrews’ YouTube channel, where she shares her “messy middle” of building a business, and hands over all her tips and advice of what she’s learning along the way, so others can strive to follow in a similar path.

Always strive to do your best and celebrate when you achieve it.

It can be just as harmful to consistently underestimate what you’re capable of as it is to overestimate and then fail to meet your own expectations. Set yourself challenging but realistic goals, and then allow yourself to celebrate when you reach them.

Got something you want to show off? I’d love to hear about it.

Like this? I’d love it if you subscribed!